Be careful who you listen to. Do they truly have YOUR best interests in mind and do they TRULY understand you.

A number of years ago, I was just laid off and looking for some advice from a guy I trusted.

Deep into the Job Search and looking to start a side business, this guy strongly suggested getting involved with a Meetup group or groups.

To frame this a bit, my friend has a very different mind set than I do because he:

1. lives in California (I live in Pennsylvania)
2. is an entrepreneur (I was in Corporate America)
3. has no military background
4. has no kids (I have 3)
5. hasn't been in Corporate America for over 15 years (I was still there after 20)

Instead of taking stock of my situation and truly seeing if this would serve my needs (getting a job), I dove in headfirst and spent over 20 hours that week researching meetups, connecting with groups I thought would be good fits for my needs and then attended meetups (all were on line).

Here’s what I learned:

• There was no help to be had as people in those groups were there for same reason with nobody to facilitate or help
• Nobody was seeking jobs at the same level or with the same level of intensity as I was
• Nobody had a sense of urgency
• Nobody had military experience
• Everyone was viewing the process from their perspectives, which is exactly why they needed help.

As a vet wanting to help my fellow vets, we must:

1. Seek to understand what our brother / sister needs and why they believe they need it
2. Seek to understand what our brother / sister thinks they need or don't need and why they believe they do or don’t need it.
3. Assess, honestly asses, our ability to help them.
4. Call them out on any bullshit they are feeding themselves or that anyone else is feeding them.
5. THEN, and only then, can we start the process of helping.

Veterans understand veterans better than anyone else on the planet because we've all been through similar shit, but not exactly the same shit. We understand, yet still need context before we can help.

Anyone (vets and non-vets alike) providing "free" advice without context or background or understanding is wasting the time of people seeking help.

Sadly, telling a vet to go do something is the worst advice ever because we are pretty damn good at doing / following "orders".

And much of this advice is really just a time suck.

What we need to do is help focus their energy and time on doing and pursuing value added work and solutions.

Because Time Sucks Are the Bomb…. for not getting what you need.