Lubov Bogopolskaya ⋅ Staten Island, NY A/Z BOOKKEEPING ⋅ 11 years experience

You should talk to Tod Emko. He would make a good friend. He spent a lot of time on a ship and is adjusting back to city life.

https://www.facebook.com/tod.emko?ref=br_rs

Emanuel Carpenter ⋅ Alpharetta, GA SDR Master Class ⋅ 20 years experience

Hi Brandon - Sorry to hear that adjusting to civilian life is difficult for you. A few things come to mind on how to overcome this:

1. Is there a way for you to get back in the military? If so, why not explore that option, even if it is with another branch of the service?

2. Can you identify what specifically you liked about being in the military? If so, there may be careers available similar to military life. Police work, armed security, TSA, or even cyber security come to mind. Could it be your present job that you don't enjoy?

3. Is there someone you can talk to about these feelings? Maybe a professional counselor or even a fellow veteran? Perhaps there is a support group in your area that helps veterans with the same feelings you're experiencing. I'm sure the VA has referral resources available. Maybe a membership with the American Legion or VFW to bond with other veterans could help.

4. Are there things you can reflect on that you DIDN'T like about being in the military? For me, I didn't like moving every two or three years or living in whatever city, state, or country the Air Force made me live. I certainly didn't like being called for parade duty, base clean up duty, living in small town Oklahoma, living in tent city in the Middle East, or even saluting.

The last time I wore the uniform was 1995. I really never looked back except for when 9/11 happened and I saw some of my old buddies deploying overseas afterwards. I felt a real sense of guilt then. But I'm thankful for what I accomplished in the military: discipline after getting kicked out of college, work experience, travel to Italy and Egypt, and debt-free college education through the G.I. bill. Enough time has passed that those five years of my life are becoming more of a blur versus what I've done since then. Perhaps you will get there too.

I hope this helps.

Randi Barnes ⋅ Louisville, KY UPS ⋅ 18 years experience

I felt the same way when I got out, but then I changed my focus from comparing every little detail to my time in the Army. I knew that I liked structure, so I sought out jobs that provide the same types of structure the military provides. I've read both of Jocko's books and the gist is to be the person you want to be. No excuses, just action.
Decide what you want and go for it. If you need to be around disciplined people, find them. If you want more in life, go get it. Only you can change your way of thinking, or your surroundings. Best of luck to you Brandon!

Chris Barrett ⋅ New York, NY American Corporate Partners (ACP) ⋅ 1 years experience

Hi Brandon,

I think that is a great question and one that doesn't get answered when you are transitioning out of the military. One thing that helped me when I transitioned out of the Marine Corps three years ago, was to take the aspects of the military I liked and incorporated them as much as I could into civilian life. Try and pick a routine you like (getting up early, eating at the same times each day, having regular PT sessions, etc.) and stick to it so that it can mimic your schedule in the military. Here are a few links to some articles that I believe can help as well:

http://blog.guide-on.com/tips-to-overcome-culture-shock-after-the-army/
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-transition-civilian-life-lessons-learned-after-first-burrell/

There are a few books and podcasts I like as well that helped with my own transition. The first, a book called "Tribe" by Sebastian Junger. It's a quick read but talks about military integration back into society. The second, "Extreme Ownership" by Jocko Willink, this takes his military experiences as a Navy Seal and relates them to the workplace. It shows that there are a lot of similarities between the two. Jocko also has a podcast called "Jocko Podcast" that I found to be incredibly helpful. Jocko is a very motivated person and he does a lot of military book reviews in his podcast and then does a Q & A session. He has a new book called "Discipline Equals Freedom" that I've heard good things about.

In closing, I think it is normal to have an apprehension to civilian life when you've been doing something for eight years. Change in general is difficult, let alone a military to civilian one. More things seem to make sense in the military sometimes, but the skills you obtained there are extremely valuable in the civilian world. There's really no perfect roadmap when you transition out as everyone has a different path. I hope those resources gave offer some benefit as you continue to navigate the transition.

Best,
Chris

Brandon Dunn ⋅ San Antonio, TX U.S. Army National Guard, Specialist ⋅ 8 years served

I have no answer for this.