Barron Evans ⋅ Ann Arbor, MI Customer Experience Change Management ⋅ 30 years experience

Ken...

Foremost, thank you for your service ... and 'kudos' for posing the question about mentoring. In addition to the great guidance provided previously, let me offer a little different slant ... this being from the POV of the American Psychological Association. Their set of guidelines will, at a minimum, provide insight into the fundamentals underlying mentor/mentee relationships; hope you find it helpful: http://www.apa.org/education/grad/mentoring.aspx Best wishes for continued success!

Bob Molluro ⋅ Wilmington, DE Benchmark Consulting Services ltd. ⋅ 30 years experience

When I first joined IBM as a sales trainee I was assigned to a mentor. He happened to be the number 4 producer in IBM out of 7,000. I thought "How could I be this lucky to be assigned to this man for one year? I was looking forward to all of the time I would spend with him. " Well when I look back I was so far off base it is unbelievable. Over the next year I spent about twenty hours total with my mentor. However he shared the wisdom I needed and put me on the right path. Here are a few pearls:
"I asked him how did he get to be one of IBM's top performers. He said, "Every year IBM assigns you a quota which is the production your manager expects from your territory. Most of the people in IBM are pretty smart so they build a plan to produce 120% of quota. I look at the quota and build a plan to produce 300%. I have never achieved it however no one else knows that and the end result is I have gotten to #4." I listened carefully and followed his advice. i built my plan for 300% and averaged 215% every year. I eventually was one of the top 12 producers in IBM".
Lesson one listen closely to your mentor and ask questions.
My mentor would give me assignments where I expected I would get guidance from him on the best ways to execute. Instead when I would try to review my progress and get feedback he would say "hey kid this is your first one-don't drop the ball." This forced me to seek out other people in the office to get feedback. Time after time I would get assignments that felt like I just got dumped into the deep end of the pool. This forced me to take on the challenge. Nothing ever stretched me further. I learned to deal effectively with whatever was thrown at me. I was on an accelerated learning curve and I owe it to my mentor. I always asked him thought provoking questions and he always provided the wisdom I needed. My advice is don't expect anything as everyone is mostly concerned with them selves. Get what you need from wherever it might be available. Anyone who is spoon feeding you is not doing you a favor in the long run

Jennifer Polhemus ⋅ Santa Monica, CA Precision Research (self-employed) ⋅ 25 years experience

I agree with Venkat, and I'll add this -- A mentor also helps keep the mentee accountable ("What progress have you made with XXXX that we talked about last week?") and helps to set goals. I suggest you figure out what YOU want from the relationship, and then talk that through with potential mentors. Mentorship works, so I encourage you to move ahead!

Venkat Narayanan ⋅ San Jose, CA Cisco Systems Inc ⋅ 30 years experience

Hi Kenneth,

You can have a mentor for both business as well as personal lives. The best mentor-mentee relationship is one where value is exchanged. The mentee gets valuable advice, and the mentor gets the satisfaction of seeing the mentee grow and prosper. The worst relationship is one where the mentor uses the mentee to feed their own ego and the mentee looks for a crutch to get thru difficult times.

The best mentors balance inquiry and advocacy and combine telling, selling, participating, and delegating to grow the mentee. The worst mentors are either talking about themselves or telling the mentee what to do without understanding the context.

The best mentees know that it is impossible to communicate the context of their personal situation and will take charge of their personal growth. They take time to frame up goals, ask questions, do research, and have respect for the mentors time. The worst mentees I've met are "askholes", meaning, they ask for advice but do not follow thru. It is not necessary to follow the advice exactly as given by the mentor but mentees should build on it, generate ideas, and most important, have a forward momentum in meeting goals. The best mentees give feedback on how their mentors' advice helped them, this is a learning and growing exercise for both parties.

Two-way communication is more important than a physical meeting. Emails, text messages, and phone calls are perfectly good ways to communicate. However, the mentor and mentee should occasionally meet face to face, as there is something about human contact that makes it special.

Hope this helps. Thank you for your service!

Venkat.